Charge people to come to your wedding?
bbwg_hbic asked:
Get this and I think its terrible…..my fiances cousin had this big elaborate New York wedding and charged everyone $100 per person to attend…..i think thats terrible, the guest payed for her whole wedding plus the honeymoon! Im planning a wedding and my fiance wnats to do the same thing and Im like…..absolutly not!!!!
Get this and I think its terrible…..my fiances cousin had this big elaborate New York wedding and charged everyone $100 per person to attend…..i think thats terrible, the guest payed for her whole wedding plus the honeymoon! Im planning a wedding and my fiance wnats to do the same thing and Im like…..absolutly not!!!!
I think that’s super tacky. The wedding is suppose to be a party that you throw for your guests, not something people pay to attend. I would definitely stick with tradition and try to cut corners to save some money, not ask people for cash! Congratulations though!
I agree, you are asking people to be there to support you, not pay for you to be married!!! Yes, tacky is for lack of a better work!!!
very tacky. But pretty unique! I bet the gifts suffered for it though.
I never heard of such a thing. Sounds pretty lame to me.
unless that money is going to charity, that is the TACKIEST thing I have ever heard, and I would NEVER attend a wedding I had to pay to come to. If you can’t afford the party, scale it down to something you can afford.
Stand your ground, girl, that is SO rude and inappropriate to charge guests to come.
that is a common and very tacky thing to do. Such shallow minded people seldom last in marrage anyway. thats just tacky!
well if they dont come dressed nice or like everybody else yes charge them…
I agree.
there’s a great book to keep the costs down called bridal bargains –best I’ve seen on this topic and you can still have a great wedding. . .
NO WAY!!!
THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG.. ONE THEY ARE INVITED TO THE WEDDING TO WITNESS 2 PEOPLE IN LOVE MAKE THE BIGGEST COMMITMENT AND TO MAKE THEM PAY FOR THAT IS MORALLY WRONG… NO WAY WOULD I DO THAT …!!! DO YOU CHARGE YOUR FRIEND TO COME AND EAT DINNER AT YOUR HOUSE? EXACTLY MY POINT OF COURSE NOT YOU ” INVITED” THEM TO THE EVENT!!!
a good way to lose friends
I would not go or give you a gift if you made me pay. Even if you were a very close friend!
You have GOT to be kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is ridiculous……tell her to get over herself!!! She should be thankful to have people she wants to share her day with and chances are they will bring a gift….how tacky to charge them to come to it…….seriously…….she needs to get over herself………
Good for you!
Charging “admission” to any private social event is disgusting!
And, honestly, I’d rethink marrying someone who thinks it is okay to ask “guests” to help you live beyond your means.
What’s next? Asking friends to come to your home for dinner and billing them for the groceries plus a little for use of the utensils and preparation of the food?
Every couple should plan the wedding they can afford and if that means punch and cake in a public park, so be it, or else they should put off the wedding until they have saved enough to pay for the wedding they want.
Shaking down the guests is unspeakably crass.
I do not think it is right to charge people to come to a wedding. I would not go to one that I had to pay to attend. If you want money for the wedding ask guest to give money instead of a gift. Make it voluntary to give money, not an obligation.
Let this idea go to seed, and here’s where I think it ends up:
If I’m going to pay $100 for an event, I expect an EVENT. I want the food to be top notch, I want to be entertained, I get to judge if I got my money’s worth, etc.
In other words, the wedding STOPS being a celebration for the couple getting married, and STARTS becoming about my expectations as a PAYING CUSTOMER and a CONSUMER (not a “guest” anymore).
Perhaps this kind of progressive financing arrangement is acceptable in New York - I have no idea, and don’t intend to denigrate New Yorkers - but I’m pretty sure if one of my friends tried to pull that here in NorCal, they’d end up with a pretty lonely wedding.
And the people who showed, well, you wouldn’t want them attending.
That’s the worse thing I’ve ever heard!!! I would not have attended that shindig! Did she expect gifts too???
Don’t do it sweetheart!
If you can’t afford a wedding have a nice little ceremony and maybe lunch or cake and punch with your closest family and friends.
no way do not do that. that is cheap and tacky
I agree with you! I had a guy that I knew that at his reception you had to pay money to dance with the bride or the groom so that they had money to spend on their honeymoon. I didn’t go to the wedding but I wouldn’t have paid I would have said either they can pay or they can wait until they have the money but they shouldn’t use other people to pay for their honeymoon. I feel that it is your personal decision to get married and to but all that money towards the wedding you shouldn’t punish other people and make them pay for it. I wouldn’t go if somebody told me I had to pay to go to a wedding!
First off, if you can’t afford the wedding on your own…then you downsize the event. If I were invited to a $100/person wedding, (and likely expected to supplement that cost with a pricey gift!) I would send back the RSVP with regrets. The wedding is not the responsibility of the guests to pay for and I am surprised they got away with it without a great deal of refusals. However, if it worked for them, you might want to consider it only because weddings, I’ll admit, ARE quite expensive. My advice, though, is about 95% that it would be a bad idea.
If people got to pay, few will probably show up, very tacky!!
unbelieveable that people even showed up. being in the wedding 1industry i still cant believe my ears when i hear stories like this. what people will do !!!
Are you kidding? And people actually went! I deejay weddings and have never seen this. Tell your fiance that this is one thing that you are definitely getting your way on.
That’s tacky and very smart if your an ahole a just don’t care about anyone else and you don’t care if you have any friends anymore.
That’s so stupid, I can’t believe it’s true.
umm, no!!!!
that is terribly rude and tacky. let him charge HIS guests. but dont charge your own.
Extremely tacky. Don’t do it.
Tacky for sure, you could have a pay bar though. First round of drinks are free, with a bottle of wine for each table, then if they want more, pay for it. Or you could have a money tree. If guests feel as though they need to give you cash they can put it on the tree. personaly, it think both is tacky but hell I’ve seen it done.
That’s just bad etiquette. Don’t do it.
The most shocking thing to me is that people actually went!!
I agree with the person who said it becomes more about the guests feeling they got what they paid for. And what about the people who said they were coming and then didn’t? Did they get their money back? I think that is the tackiest thing I have ever heard.
It also sends the message that you do not care whether or not guests attend unless they can pay. You should want everyone there not just the guests with the big wallets.
And I wonder what people thought. I am sure some family members paid and attended but had a few choice things to say. Do not force your guests to pay for something they did not ask for. You and your fiance are choosing to get married. No guest is forcing you to do it.
Tell your fiance that you do not want to do that and he should respect that. Why not have a “Dollar Dance” instead?
A “Dollar Dance” is simply where guests dance with the bride and groom for a small “fee”. Guest can give has much as they want. It is actually quite common at weddings. Most guests already plan on giving the couple cash and it gives them a nice opportunity to visit with the bride/groom.
You can have a very beautiful wedding without spending a lot of money. Simply be creative and do not be afraid to do things yourselves.
Congratulations and best wishes for many happy years together!!
No, this is horrible. Why would anyone have gone??
I agree with you. There’s a difference between having a money tree where guests can give cash gifts to the couple and charging them to attend… how classless!!!!
are you joking? wow, I have never heard of this…. yeah not classy at all =) That is tasteless in my opinion…. I am planning a wedding currently and couldn’t IMAGINE doing that (AND believe me after reviewing prices, that sure sounds like a great idea IN THEORY lol)… after reading etiquette book after etiquette book….I am surprised her family wouldn’t have mentioned something to her to try and alter her idea…. yikes.
I am a bit old fashioned but I personally feel you should NEVER host a party you cant afford to do so….a smaller more intimate venue would be better suited to someone who was not able to host such a grand affair.
Stand up for yourself
Best of luck
OMG! I can;t believe people paid. That’s ridiculous. It is super tacky- a wedding is first and foremost a celebration you are sharing with your friends. Would you invite someone over for dinner and then charge them for food? I still can’t believe people paid to go to the wedding. WOW!
Any mention of money with a party you are throwing is tacky tacky tacky. This includes the money dance/dollar dance, or any sort of implying that money should be your gift. I can’t imagine having a party at my home and asking my guests to pay for it.
Dear Jane,
I’m throwing myself a birthday party next weekend and I’d be thrilled if you could come. It will cost $100 per person to attend. I’m registered at Target and Wal-Mart.
Sara
Slap your fiance and tell him that you refuse to have your (the two of you) wedding ruined by such a lack of etiquette.
It is rude to have a cover charge for your wedding. If you would like monetary gifts then let your guests know that is what you prefer instead of practical gifts. Monetary gifts are very popular these days and it is not being rude in anyway. Your guests will give you what they can afford.
OMG thats funny! When my husband and I were planning our wedding we knew we would be the ones paying for it, he tossed that idea out and I was like— HELL no!!! That is sooooo tacky. If you are in the situation that we were in, where basically we were combining 2 households into one and we did not want to recieve, toasters and all that crap you really don’t need as wedding gifts. On you invitations in the RSVP part put at the bottom: In leiu of gifts monatary contributions appreciated.
Trust me it pays off and its not tacky at all, because really it saves them from having to go out anyway. And counting up all that money with your new husband is more fun than sorting through gadgets and kitchen utensils!
Oh how TACKY.
Very tacky. Your guest are not obligated to go to your wedding.
I wouldn’t if I know that you’re going to charge me to go, even if I knew you for years. I probably wouldn’t bring you any gifts. Plus I’d be complaining about your wedding to other people. It’s kinda shameful.
Stand your ground. It’ EXTREMELY tacky to charge people to come to your wedidng.
You invite people to a wedding to let them celebrate their day with you. You don’t charge them for your company. It’s RUDE.
I do not believe I would have attended a wedding with an admission fee. That’s just bad taste. If it were someone I was really close to and would not want to miss the wedding, then I would assume that I was close enough to tell them how tacky they were.
WHAT no way! You are 100% correct! You DONT charge your guests to attend! I can’t believe his cousin got away with that! If you do that then most people you invite WILL NOT attend the wedding and may be so offended as not to send you a gift. I would never send a gift or attend a wedding that I had to pay to attend! Plus you will receive no gifts from people who actually are willing to pay to attend. Tell your fiance he can charge any of his guests (his family and friends) but you REFUSE to charge any of your guests. And guess what? Only your guests will attend so you will win in the end
I have never heard of anything more tacky–stand your ground, you’re right, the cousin is WRONG.
Thats very tacky what was the point in having a huge lavish wedding if they couldnt afford it and why in the world would their guest pay $100 to attend.
Horrid and tacky in the extreme.
Someone I know went to a wedding and later got a bill from the mother of the bride (her sister) that said she owed the couple another gift or to send “X” amount of money because the cost of her gift didn’t equal the cost of her portion of the reception.
I don’t see many people attending a wedding they have to pay to attend. In a sence, they already are paying if they have to travel any distance or stay over night in a hotel.
Stand your ground and don’t let him convince you to charge admission to your wedding.
Are you certain you want to go through with marrying someone like that?