How can my LDS friend make her wedding special for everyone involved?
Okay, so i was talking to my friend today, and she’s getting married next summer! Yay! ^_^ Her RM proposed two days ago.
Well, she’s a convert, and the only one in her family. She’s always dreamed of the fairytale wedding, Vera Wang gown, flowers, her daddy giving her away, all that. Now, as much as she’s looking forward to the temple wedding, she’s confided in me that it just sank in that none of her family can be really involved at all…..and that makes her sad. She wants to have a ring ceremony afterward, and make it almost the way she imagined it, but heard that she can’t make it very fancy, it has to be really simple.
Is that true? She has to downplay her ring ceremony in favor of her temple ceremony? Why? This part of it is more for her family than anything…..I ask because I heard the same thing, that your ring ceremony should be simple and brief.
Yeah, but you know they’d have to wait a year….. and she’s worried that everyone will be pissed with her for making it fancy. I say that’s stupid, who are they to judge her? But, whatev!
I was raised Mormon, my family went to church until my parents divorced when I was 14 or so. After the divorce, none of our church friends talked to us or anything.
Mormons are pretty strict about their sealed temple weddings. The LDS are not very equal in thinking terms about things involving people of other religions. Sorry for your friend, but I know that non-mormons can’t go into a Mormon Temple.
What about having the wedding at a public place, like a nice outdoor wedding.
In the Bible (Ephesians 5) the husband and wife are compared to Christ and the church. If she truly wants everyone involved to be effected to the glory of GOD, then be a godly wife, pleasing to GOD, and not a man-pleaser. The life we live towards GOD, is the life we give to GOD.
SHE needs to make a choice, her family or her faith. It’s clear that she can’t completely appease both.
If she chooses her faith, then she will understandably upset her family by not allowing them to participate in her wedding due to long-established LDS custom and temple regulations. But she will be a good little Mormon girl.
If she chooses her family, then she will understandably upset her faith by not following their requirements for recognizing the marriage if it is not performed in an LDS temple. Depending on how strict it is they may not even allow non-Mormons inside the temple to witness the wedding at all, much less be a part of it.
I say do both, as obviously both faith and family are important to her. Have the wedding in the temple so that the marriage will be recognized by her faith, then arrange as FANCY a ring ceremony as SHE wants with her family involved.
Of course this will appease both her family and her faith some, and also upset both her family and her faith some. I expect this conflict between faith and family to be just getting started for her, this won’t be the end of it. In any case, it should help prepare her on the long road for an LDS marriage (and of marriage in general) regarding the value of compromise and learning that you can’t satisfy everyone.
Any religion that makes you shun your family is a cult. I know I’ll be getting thumbs down for calling Mormons a cult but seriously, they are trying to isolate her from her family. That is just plain wrong and abusive. How dare they say her family can’t participate because they don’t believe in everything they do. Time to leave the “church” and go back to normal society. You don’t need to belong to any particular religion or church to believe in something. Your beliefs are your own and anyone who infringes on them is wrong. If she wants a fairytale wedding with her family involved then she should do it.
Family is one of the most important components at a wedding. It is the two families coming together and the beginning of a new one. Whether she wants a simple ceremony, or one with all the bells and whistles, her family should be there.
It’s her wedding and no one else’s business.
Respect her feelings. It’s her day and she shouldn’t be into doing something she doesn’t want to do.
You can make her an eloborate reception.
dear pinay ,as your humble servant i will not attempt to instruct you ,but will say,my niece married a mormon last summer and although we were invited we were not encouraged to come.the wedding was to be for members only ,and the ring ceremony was to be kept as frugal as possible .she has since dropped off of the inter-net ,although she was a regular correspondent when i was in the middle east .the first step towards isolation seemed to be the wedding.
so my advice to you my dear is to try to keep in as close contact as possible and see how it goes. if you need me to do a chuck norris rescue ,you know my e-mail,i’m just waiting for the green-light from my brother to do one for him.