My mom altered my wedding gown. I want to use a professional tailor. What to do?
Kissyfur asked:
So I have a great Vera Wang wedding dress, which I will need altered significantly (it’s a size 10, and I’m a size 4). I’ve been keeping it in my parent’s house. Today I was chatting with my mother, and mentioned that I’d found a good tailor who I planned to take the dress to for the alterations, and she told me that she had actually done some basting alterations (non-permanent, as of yet) on it. She thinks she can handle the alterations herself and is so excited to do so! She sewed her own wedding dress 35 years ago, and has nothing but the best of intentions, and she is a great seamstress. But for obvious reasons, I really want to take the dress to a professional for the fittings and alterations. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings, and of course the tailor is about $500 more than my mom (my parents have offered to pay for the wedding)! How do I gently explain to her my feelings? Help!
So I have a great Vera Wang wedding dress, which I will need altered significantly (it’s a size 10, and I’m a size 4). I’ve been keeping it in my parent’s house. Today I was chatting with my mother, and mentioned that I’d found a good tailor who I planned to take the dress to for the alterations, and she told me that she had actually done some basting alterations (non-permanent, as of yet) on it. She thinks she can handle the alterations herself and is so excited to do so! She sewed her own wedding dress 35 years ago, and has nothing but the best of intentions, and she is a great seamstress. But for obvious reasons, I really want to take the dress to a professional for the fittings and alterations. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings, and of course the tailor is about $500 more than my mom (my parents have offered to pay for the wedding)! How do I gently explain to her my feelings? Help!
Actually, I’m not quite sure what the obvious reasons are. If your mom is a great seamstress and she has worked with the fabric before, then she probably will be just as good as a professional tailor. Just ensure that she knows if she messes it up, it will be her responsibility to replace the dress and pay for a tailor. If she is confident, and willing to take on the responsibility if she messes it up, then let her do it.
Oh, and you might want to give her an appropriate timeline. So that she is not working on it right up to the wedding day.
Why don’t you check out what she is doing? You might be better off with your mother doing it. She will want you to look your very best. At least let her show you what she has in mind first. It would be done with the greatest of love, I am sure.
At this point you’re taking it in too much to consider it being altered: the dress has to be rebuilt. That is going to be a very tricky task, and if I were you I would be very careful about who does the work, or you could seriously be out one dress.
I would take the approach that you do think she could handle it, but you know things happen sometimes, and if something does happen, you’d be out one dress, and the parents would have to buy another.
My mother made all her own clothes back in the day. She resized my wedding dress which was 2 sizes too big for me, and it came out beautiful. She even added extra embellishments to add a personal touch. I loved it.
If your mother can sew, let her do it. Thats $500 more you have towards your new life.
whats the obvious reasons that you are referring too? she apparently knows what she is doing-you said so yourself, and if she made her own wedding dress then she knows what she is doing, doesn’t matter really how long ago it was-unless she has arthritis or something. Why pay someone $500 for something your mom can and will do for free??
Just because your parents are paying doesn’t mean You can’t try to SAVE them some money. Just doesn’t make sense to me.
I designed and made my own wedding dress too, but I would not want to resize that much difference in size. That dress will have to be completely recut. In all honesty, you would be better off getting a different dress or having your mom sew one from scratch using a pattern.
Your mom may be capable of doing the recut or she may get stuck halfway through. Hang onto your tailor, you may need her.
As for not insulting your mom and not hurting her feelings, good luck! I’m afraid you’re probably going to do one or the other or both.
If you want to pay for the professional, then its up to you to let your mom know you are paying to have it done. If you aren’t paying, then you probably have to let her handle it.
Try not to let this become an issue between you and your Mom.
Taking a dress in 2 sizes or more is a great undertaking for most professional, most would want you to order a dress closer to your size and would not even touch such a drastic alteration.
Take your dress to the tailor, even take your mom with you so she can see all the work that needs to be done. Tell her that you don’t want to have bad feeling towards her if it does not turn out perfect, it easier to be mad at the tailor. THIS IS A BIG JOB!
Trust your mom.