I’m an army wife, we got married at city hall. I want a real wedding?
Jess asked:
I’ve always had a dream about getting married in a beautiful white gown with my father walking me down the aisle. Well Since i married a man in the military we got marred at the city hall justice of the peace. I don’t regret marrying him and my parents and my two best friends were there…but i want a real wedding with a real wedding dress. I plan on planning everything during his 2nd deployment. He leaves either december or january. (of 2009). Where do i begin? How much do you think it will cost? I don’t plan on having alot of people there. But i do want his parents and his brother and my parents and a few other family members to be there. I’ll have to fly my two best friends heather and venessa up because we’re probably going to have the wedding in Virginia. (we live in texas but when he gets deployed again i want to be with my family)so…I’m just so scared and nervous and i don’t even know where to begin. I need help!
I’ve always had a dream about getting married in a beautiful white gown with my father walking me down the aisle. Well Since i married a man in the military we got marred at the city hall justice of the peace. I don’t regret marrying him and my parents and my two best friends were there…but i want a real wedding with a real wedding dress. I plan on planning everything during his 2nd deployment. He leaves either december or january. (of 2009). Where do i begin? How much do you think it will cost? I don’t plan on having alot of people there. But i do want his parents and his brother and my parents and a few other family members to be there. I’ll have to fly my two best friends heather and venessa up because we’re probably going to have the wedding in Virginia. (we live in texas but when he gets deployed again i want to be with my family)so…I’m just so scared and nervous and i don’t even know where to begin. I need help!
Also…i just want to add that May of 2008 we will have been
married for 2 years already
We’re definately on a budget…
my husband knows about it and thinks its a great idea
just to clarify things: your real wedding was the one at city hall. if that wasn’t real, then you aren’t married! so what you want now is the pretend wedding - the fun one - the pretty one. honestly i think its a bit silly myself and you surely could find a lot better ways to spend your hard-earned money but if thats what you want to do then ask your pastor if he will officiate at a ‘renewal of vows’ ceremony. the cost entirely depends on you and what you want. so think about this for awhile before you start making plans. and whatever you decide - good luck!
btw: tell your husband thank you! we support our troops and we are so grateful to all the fine men and women who are willing to risk it all to keep their homelands safe. God Bless!
Have you talked to your husband about it? It’s not clear from your post. I’d think that having him on board would be the first thing to worry about!
You can have a wedding for $5000 or $50,000; it all depends on what you get, how many guests you have, where you have it, etc. It also widely varies based on your region–a wedding in Roanoke is not going to cost the same as a wedding in Arlington.
One problem you may face, since you’re already married, is that people may not bring you gifts. Meaning, if you’re depending upon getting cards with fat checks in them in order to pay for the wedding, it may not happen.
Instead of a 2nd wedding, you could do it as a re-commitment ceremony for your 5th anniversary or something. That would give you more time to plan and save up to make it really nice
Well, there’s definitely no reason why you two can’t have this wedding, that’s for sure. Just be sure that your officiant or justice of the peace knows your situation ahead of time. I actually know a couple who eloped, and then got married with the big shin dig a year later so that family could be involved. It was a great day for them.
You first need to start where any bride starts, and that’s with a budget. You need to ask if anyone, such as parents will be contributing. Don’t expect them to, but if they want to, you’ll need to know exactly how much, and what they want to pay for. Typically, a wedding is about $20,000, but you can have one for as little as $2,000, and upwards of $100,000, depending on your venues, your dress and vendors.
For low budget brides, start going to sample sales for gowns, or start looking online. Often, online retailers will have a gown for about $200 less than an actual boutique. As far as a location, go for something such as a state park, where you won’t need any decor and the fee is nominal (you usually only pay for a park permit, averaging $100). For your reception, try a place that is all-inclusive such as a banquet hall at a hotel. Or even your favorite restaurant, if your guest list is small. The hotel banquet hall would be more expensive, but there would be space for dancing and entertainment. The restaurant would be less expensive with a little less space, but also very intimate and just as memorable.
Things that cost more are pitching tents in parks because you have to rent everything, like tables, china, linens, chairs and you have to hire a caterer, which can also be more expensive than the hotel restaurant.
Other money-saving tips:
Go with a DJ over a band or singer, hire a photographer from craigslist with a good portfolio, but is just starting out and needs to build a client list (they will charge you a LOT less and often, they’re just as good as the professionals), consider having your wedding on an “off” day, like a Thursday or Sunday morning or afternoon. A weekday, lunch, or brunch will cost less per person.
Just think of what you want and make choices: Do I want the fancier location or a nicer ball gown? Do I want lost of flowers or a well-known caterer?
It sounds to me like what you want is a celebration with close friends and family, which won’t cost a ton. Just take it step by step and ask friends for advice. It’ll be a beautiful day, and I commend you for deciding to have an actual wedding day … you’ll be really happy you did!